Just some rainy day ramblings of an over tired mama….
It has been raining for more than a week now. Yucky, yucky weather. On top of the rain we have already gotten, we are expecting at least some rain from hurricane Joaquin. Happy, happy, joy, joy.
The children have been teething and had sinus issues for the last couple of weeks. I have gotten no measurable sleep in the past four nights. They want to comfort nurse. Which is okay. One day they will not come to me for “milkies”. The children cannot seem to coordinate napping at the same time, so I am dragging.
My prayer life is pretty strong because I use that time to pray. So it has been quite a lot this week, and indeed many nights over the course of the (short) lives of my children.
Something about me: I need about 9 hours of sleep to function well. I am having a hard time focusing, due to lack of sleep. I take 20 times longer to get stuff done because I have slowed down. The house is a wreck. I finally started feeling like I was getting a handle on it. My goal for today is to keep the children alive and well.
Cleaning is also so much easier when it’s sunny (or snowy) out. When it is yucky out my motivation is zip. That coupled with lack of sleep is a recipe for a rough week.
But God is good. Dirty dishes means we have food to eat. A messy house means the children are playing and having fun. Dirty Laundry means we have clothes to wear. Nursing all night means I have two sweet babies who want to cuddle.
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Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
While these trials are trivial compared to some, they are still trials. A frustrated, angry mama is not very likely to reflect the light and love of Jesus to her children. God is using this to refine me.
“Consider” is a verb meaning:
- think carefully about (something), typically before making a decision.
- think about and be drawn toward (a course of action).
- believe; think.
- take (something) into account when making an assessment or judgment.
We can choose to look at our situations, every little bad thing that happens (today I burnt bacon, which is pretty sad on a good day, today it nearly had me in tears). Some days it just seems like nothing is going right.
Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,”they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,”he said, “why did you doubt?”
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Matthew 14:22-32
I can choose to focus on those things, the wind and waves, or I can focus on Christ, who is all I need. I can allow things to eclipse Christ in my life, or I can focus on Him.
[Another interesting thing about the above Scripture account. Go back and read verse 22. Jesus sent His disciples into the storm.]
His grace IS enough.
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
In my weakness, my human failings, I have to rely on Him to be my strength. My rest. I cannot boast that I have done anything. Everything I do is through Him. Only when I rely on Him can I get through it.
The chorus of Matt Maher’s song, Your Grace is Enough, has been my theme song for the past several weeks.
If His grace really is enough, it does not matter what is going on in my life. He is God. He is Good.
So, on this yucky, rainy, dismal day, I need to stop and remember that it is still the day that the Lord has made. I can choose the rejoice and be glad despite the rain or I can let it dampen my day.
I am going to pray for God to supernaturally multiply whatever sleep I got last night, put on some mascara, my string of pearls, my apron and throw my un-brushed hair into a rather unattractive bun and see what memories I can make with the children today.